Get The Support You Need

By Ann Abram

Foster Care Worker At Large

Well, the New Year has come and gone and so have probably many on your New Year’s resolutions.  Quitting smoking, dieting, and exercising regularly are typical resolutions that people make and are unable to keep.  However, there is one simple resolution you can make as a foster parent that you can keep.  You can promise yourself to be the best foster parent you can be by attending your local office or agency support group.

When foster parents decide to no longer foster, a survey is sent to them to receive their input on matters about fostering.  The survey results show that training, communication and support are the three most common items mentioned that contributed to their success. Attending classes and phoning or emailing the caseworker for the child in your home are ways to become more knowledgeable and increase communication.  But support, where does that come from?    Who do you call at 3pm on a Saturday when you wonder what to do with your foster son who is exhibiting behavioral issues or you have to leave town on a family emergency and wonder what you should do.  How many times have you had to deal with an issue and wonder if it was covered in your foster parent pre-licensing training classes?

You call another foster parent.  It is other foster parents who have had similar issues and can provide you with the support, encouragement, and information you need at that moment.  How do you know about these other foster parents?  Well, some areas and agencies have mentor programs.  This is when a newly licensed foster parent is matched up with a veteran foster parent to answer questions and provide support.  You meet other foster parents by attending trainings, going to your local support groups, or becoming involved in the local and state foster parent associations.  There are different rules that apply and it is your local foster parents who can give you that knowledge. 

So, don’t just sit home in 2007, become involved and get out there to meet other foster parents.  A very wise foster parent once told me, that if you foster for more than a year, you will foster for five years.  If you foster for five years, you will foster for 20.  Recently we have said goodbye to some very long-term foster parents.  Gail and Adrian Morrill of Milton Mills have fostered for more than 20 years.  I always considered them to be my mentors.  They were there for me when I had questions and helped me to continue to foster.  Other foster parents who have “retired” in the past couple of months who have fostered for more than a decade are Rosemary and Carl Lusky of Center Conway, Anita Elliot of Barnstead, Ellen and David Ellis of Bradford, and Hy Hubbard of Hampton.  These people have undoubtedly helped many of you along your way.  It is now time for you to attend your local support groups and offer the same assistance that was once offered to you.  See the back page of this edition for a calendar of local foster parent support groups. Plan to attend the next one in your area.