Foster Parent Snapshot: Mary & Steve Cataldo

By Linda Pelch, M.A. Behavorial Specialist

Spaulding Youth Center

All children can be oppositional from time to time, and oppositional behavior is often a normal part of development for two to three year olds and early adolescents.  But, what if uncooperative and antagonistic behavior becomes a serious concern? 

If you’re concerned about your child’s behavior seek help from your case manager, your child’s pediatrician, a child psychologist or behavioral expert.   These professionals may screen for any other mental health disorders such as ADHD, Depression, Anxiety Disorders or Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  These diagnoses are typically given by information supplied by parents, caregivers, and/or teachers.  Successful treatment of any co-existing conditions will help improve the effectiveness of treatment for oppositional behaviors.  

As foster parents – what can you do?  Treating oppositional behaviors requires commitment and follow-through by you and others involved with the child’s care.   Here are some ways you can help:

·     Recognize and praise your child's positive behaviors, especially when he shows flexibility and cooperation;

·      Model the behavior you want your child to have, for example “Let’s hang your coat in the closet” not “Don’t throw your coat on the chair.”;

·        Remember - pick your battles.   Since the child with ODD has trouble avoiding power struggles, prioritize the things you want your child to do.  Take a time-out or break if you are about to make the conflict with your child worse, not better;

·         Set up reasonable, age appropriate limits with consequences that can be enforced consistently;

·        Develop a consistent daily schedule for your child, so he has an idea what is happening next;

·       Don’t take what your youngster says personally or try and defend yourself to convince him you are right, avoid that verbal battle; and lastly

Learn ways to calm yourself, take time for yourself, and be forgiving